Kazbek - I will definitely return!

On the first day of the hike, everything seemed unreal. The fact that we left, our backpacks, a car with a broken windshield and crazy views outside the window. Roads, fields, rivers, mountains... passing through villages I wanted to stop in each of them. The Annanuri fortress and the lake... and the bright colors of a small tourist market that you simply cannot miss. 20 - 30 minutes and again on the road to Kazbegi. The first test there is to stuff additional equipment into the backpacks (which didn’t seem light anyway).

Having said goodbye to our driver after the first steps, you understand that the way is only up. And from the first steps you see the peak to which you hope to reach.

The first overnight stay near the church, the first tea on the way, cold spring water, cows... and very warm, affectionate and fluffy dogs. The helicopter has been circling above us all evening... the first stars... Well done to my team! And I’m tired and going to bed in the hope that tomorrow will be easier and no less wonderful)))

Day 2. Through the pass to the greenery.”

This is what happens when you wake up at night and see a glowing mountain top, a sky full of stars and the wind... then I still thought it was cold and windy... and in the morning you realize that it’s a new day... and cows.

Actually, I am very afraid of cows, but here they seemed gentle and small to me... like cats))) this picture appeared in my brain and I even stroked one of them. A wonderful start to a promising day.

We washed, had breakfast, and got ready. We went through our backpacks and life immediately became easier. Take your first steps and you won’t look back.

Look up. And steps from the right to the left... and on the slope very close by there is a flock of sheep like fluffy clouds. And everything is bright and colorful. Halfway along the way I stop and listen to the sounds, either the river or the wind... and very soon we will be faced with the test of a bridge across a river... besides cows, I’m also afraid of heights... having gathered all my will, I decide that I will cross the bridge vertically... and hurray! it worked! the bridge didn't collapse, I didn't fall... the day was a success)))

Today we saw a glacier. It curves around the stones like a tongue of ice and sparkles in the sun with smooth lines. I really want to get out on the ice as soon as possible and feel what it is like. But that's tomorrow. And today, lacy romance in the mountains (found on the trail), sunset, and the peak of Kazbek, reminiscent of the purpose of our journey.

Day 3. To the weather station

In the morning we woke up and plunged into what had become a routine in 2 days - cleaning, breakfast, getting ready. But the backpack somehow became heavier or something... every step is a struggle.

People react to heights differently. Some earlier, some later... me earlier. My head feels dizzy and hurts, but my thoughts are completely different. Most of all I remember the butterflies. Сегодня они рыжие и черные, вчера были голубые, а в низу белые и желтые... и сразу так радостно и легко, как будто это у меня крылья, а не у них.

It’s strange, there are thoughts about butterflies, about the fate of the world, but there are no thoughts about everyday things. In the mountains, everything is big and global, but the little things are left somewhere far away.

Hot sweet tea was more valuable to me than air. It provides rest, water, strength, and even time to look, think, catch your breath...

When we approached the glacier, I understood what silence meant. After all, the glacier is alive. It moves, sings, gurgles with rivulets of melt water... and on the way, horses pass us with the backpacks of those who decided to climb light. And immediately such pride for us, walking with backpacks))) and faith that we will get there (because our eyes look up).

When things got really hard, a dog appeared. Small, warm and fluffy. She came running, looked and seemed to push her further - why are you standing there? I have to go! come on! woof! and it’s immediately embarrassing that such a small and brave dog is running, and I’m standing. And again, step by step, to the end of the glacier, onto the path to the weather station.

When they arrived, I just wanted to sit down and close my eyes, but Sasha’s voice (the instructor) pulled me out of a fog. "We must build!" What to build? How? How? And you get up and go collect stones and build walls, because it’s soon evening and it’s cold and the wind knocks you off your feet.

At a weather station, the main thing is not the altitude. The main thing is Ellie's house. On the way to Kansas, he got stuck on Kazbek and will soon fly further. These are "conveniences" so to speak. Half of the local toilet stands on a rock, and the half with a hole hangs above the cliff. The bravest and most desperate can take advantage of this shelter from the wind in times of dire need.

But the main test in Ellie's house is not the height and fragility of the structure. The main thing is that climbers are by no means snipers... And they don’t use a shovel because it looks like a counterweight that prevents the house with its contents and people relieving themselves from falling down.

Desperate climbers go to relieve themselves under the rocks. And for a long time I will carefully walk around large boulders in anticipation of a pair of eyes peeking out and the sound of the word “helo”.

Day 4. Acclimatization exit

In the morning, the main task was to separate dream and reality. The first night at altitude was marked by nightmares in which the weather station turned into a labyrinth in which we tried to find the way to the top... In the end, thoughts about the morning’s affairs helped me.

And suddenly an offer came from which it immediately became warm and cheerful - breakfast in the weather station building! Not in the wind, but at a real table!

The kitchen amazed me with the abundance of flags and inscriptions in all languages. In the room you meet people from different countries... and from Israel too))) Conversations with people you are seeing for the first time - about the route, plans, weather, well-being...

A distinctive feature of all conversations is speed, or rather the lack thereof. Everything is slow. both words and movements. Time itself slowed down.

After the first cup of tea, the mood is excellent, but with food everything is difficult. The body does not want to accept food, but it needs to.

Having finished breakfast, we get ready to leave. Today we walk lightly - up and down. The anticipation of an amazing journey pushes fears into the background.

And then we hit the road, and it’s hard again. But now I’m going second - between Sasha and Dasha (a decision that was not made by me, but I am very grateful for it).

My thoughts rush from the beauty of the place through the complexity and struggle for every step (and Dasha’s voice that tells me “stop, breathe, don’t wait, move on...) to the point that my pace is slower for the whole group. I force myself to take one more step and the thought arises in my head that I won’t be able to take another step... it’s a shame and it hurts from the feeling of helplessness...

It was at this moment that Dashka’s voice was heard behind him: “10 steps - 5 inhalations, exhalations. Try it.” And I try. I don’t know where the strength came from, but what seemed impossible became a reality. And a thought appeared in my head - there are no hopeless situations, you can always try differently.

Thank you Dasha))))

And along the way there is again a glacier and stones and loose debris. Fall, get up, walk... right - left, inhale, exhale, 10 steps... 2 steps... 5 steps... 30 steps! hooray!!!

Halt at an altitude of 4150. And there was so much happiness that I was somewhere I never even dreamed of being. And already thinking that tomorrow I will walk the same route and it will be easier, because I know every step... In the meantime, tea, rest, descent, and again tea, and the moon. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 5. Crosses

The most difficult thing is when expectations are not met... Either because the path that awaited us had already been walked and measured... I knew where the hard step would be, how many steps to the next stone, and despite this it was more difficult for me.

Perhaps because yesterday we walked without weight, and now this weight has become important. Either it’s the fifth day and the realization and feeling comes that everything is serious and long... And it will always be like this... But one way or another, the day that I thought would be simple became one of the most difficult for me, and one of the most important.

It was on this day that I argued with myself and decided to go. Today the ascent begins. After all, you could have stayed at the weather station, not continued, and said - this is the limit...

But no. We moved on. Calculating every day, every step. Knowing that a day of bad weather awaits us, but it’s not scary, we’ll rest...

Have you ever tried to rest when your tent bends under the pressure of the wind? And it also seems that the hail will pierce the fabric, and after the hail there will be snow... And suddenly there is silence and frost, and the snow shines, blinding everyone who dares to take off their glasses. And the people nearby have become so close.

But this will all happen at night and the next day. In the meantime, we are building walls, tea, food... and a water supply system that Borya and Valera built from a bottle, a tube and glacial water flowing directly under the tent. It's very cool when you can get water. Or rather, it gathers itself, and you don’t have to go to the stream, but you can just sit and watch the water flow, and breathe slowly and deeply, and look at the mountains, and catch the rays of the setting sun, and think... Think about today’s route, about the time before the assault, about the weather, about the people.

I listen to my feelings and try to convince myself that after rest everything will be normal. And you will have strength, and your head will not hurt... Because there is no time for these little things, but there is time for universal reflections.

The moon has risen and I am about to go to bed with a wild mixture of delight, hopes and fears.

Day 6. Rest

At altitude everything happens quickly. The sun rises quickly and night falls just as quickly, the weather changes quickly, and the mood changes quickly. At some point, somewhere around the bend, a rockfall thundered, and a moment later there was silence again. But there is something that happens very slowly - and this is making a decision that goes against the desire of the heart.

It was on this day that we learned what I think is the most important lesson. We decided to go down. Just as quickly as everything else, and just as unexpectedly, we got sick. And where the heart said “up!”, the brain said “next time.”

We made this decision for a painfully long time, postponing the moment, what if everything would pass and we could... It seemed that time itself had stopped to give us the opportunity to enjoy this height a little more. Once the decision is made, all that remains is to wait. Wait for dawn to get ready and go on the road.

Looking at the top you understand that this meeting was simply postponed for a while. That you will come again and repeat this path step by step. Already familiar, etched in my memory with its sights, smells, colors and radiance. Because a piece of the soul remains here as a guarantee of your return. That piece you can’t live without.

Day 7-8. Descent.

Sooner or later everything ends. Morning comes and we begin our descent. What took almost a week ends in two days. On the descent everything looks different, perhaps due to a slight touch of sadness. Or maybe because of the thought that I will come back here again. A thought that does not let go and permeates every step.

Who said the descent is easier? He's just faster! But even here it is important to follow every step, not to stumble. After all, the goal is not only to climb the mountain, the goal is also to return home. And watching people return from the top, it becomes scary for those whose goal remained at the top.

Another night near the church... The place where it all began. Only now there are no cows here. We were greeted by dogs and horses. Has a very curious horse ever tried to come into your tent? At night when you're trying to sleep with dogs barking? So we could not continue to sleep and left the tent. Wrapped in sleeping bags, we sat on a rock and waited for the morning. Meanwhile, the horses were chasing the dogs, and they, in turn, barking, tried to bring justice to the current situation.

In the morning, after loading our backpacks into the car, we split up. Part of the group went to Kazbegi to drop off equipment and take a seat in a local cafe, and part decided to descend on foot. For some reason, it was very important for me to go down with my own feet. Perhaps even more important than getting to the top.

And downstairs coffee, soup and wine were already waiting for us. And with the very first sip of wine, a toast that was said as a joke at home surfaced in my memory - “Let the number of ascents be equal to the number of descents.” And I wish everyone going to the mountains that this toast will come true and be heard at every subsequent ascent.

It was an amazing journey for me. Getting to know a new country and nature, a mountain, new people... and yourself. Until recently, I didn’t understand why it’s necessary to test yourself or a friend in the mountains... I don’t know about my friend, but yes, myself.

For me, there on the route, only the present remains. The me that really exists. Not invented, but the way I have become so far. And maybe next time I’ll meet myself who will be a little better than today. After all, every step leads us upward)))

In the meantime, thanks to those who made my dream come true. To those who walked alongside no matter what.

©Isabella Farber